I tried looking on the Web for the original lyrics to the title song from the Cockney musical comedy Fings ain't wot they used t'be, by Lionel Bart, but all I could find were the different lyrics sung to the same tune by Max Bygraves. As I have on CD the original-cast recording of the show from 1960, here's my transcription from the sound, with some improvements added later from Chris's version below (with thanks to him). 'Wolfenden' refers to the Wolfenden Report on homosexuality and prostitution, published in 1957.
I used to lead a lovely life of sin
(Dough! I charged a ton)
Now it's become an undercover game
Who wants to read a notice in a window, "Massaging done"?
Somehow the business doesn't seem the same.
It's a very different scene
Well, if you know what I mean
There's toffs with toffee noses and
Poofs in coffee houses and
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
There's short-time low-priced mysteries
Without proper histories
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
There used to be class
Doing the town
Buying a bit of vice
And that's when a brass
Couldn't go down
Under the union price
Not likely!
Once in golden days of yore
Ponces killed a lazy whore
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
Cops from universities
Dropsy, what a curse it is
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
Big hoods now are little hoods
Gamblers now do Littlewoods
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
There used to be schools
Thousands of pounds
Passing across the baize
There used to be tools
Flashing around
Oh for the bad old days
Remember...
How we used to [pull/fall] for them
I've got news for Wolfenden
Fings ain't wot they used t'be
(Did their lot they used to)
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
28 comments:
I thought that there was something to do with "bowling alleys where it used to be our local palais"?
That's the Max Bygraves version, Patti.
I couldn't find the original version either, but here's another try.
Chris.
I used to lead a lovely life of sin, dough! I charged a ton
Now it's become an undercover game;
Who want to read a notice in a window, "Massaging Done?"
Somehow the business doesn't seem the same
It's a very different scene
Well, you know what I mean...
There's toffs wiv toffee noses, and
Poofs in coffee 'ouses and
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
There's short time low priced mysteries
Wivout proper histories
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
There used to be class
Doing the town
Buying a bit o' vice.
And that's when a brass
Couldn't go down
Under the union price,
Not likely!
Once in golden days of yore
Ponces killed a lazy whore
Fings ain't what they used t'be.
Cops from universities
Dropsy wot a curse it is,
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
Big hoods now are little hoods
Gamblers now do Littlewoods
Fings ain't wot they used t’be.
There used to be schools,
Fahsands of pounds
Passing across the baize.
There used to be tools
Flashing around
Oh for the bad old days
Remember
How we used to pull for 'em
I've got news for Wolfenden
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
Did their lot they used ter
Fings ain't wot they used t'be.
Thanks, Chris, that makes more sense of it!
Many thanks for this. Just watching musicals doc and they made reference to this version.
Well done Chris. Readers may be interested to know that in the original stage production at Stratford East, around 1958, this song was performed by Miriam Karlin (later, shop steward "everybody out" Paddy in The Rag Trade) and Glynn Edwards (later, club owner Dave in "Minder").
Yes, that's the recording this is taken from. Glynn edwards was married to yootha joyce.
How we used to FALL for 'em
Doesn't that make more sense?
"There's short time low priced mysteries
Wivout proper histories"
Is that referring to prostitutes?
http://www.londonreconnections.com/2014/fings-aint-wot-used-tbe/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Norman
Interesting background there, all new to me.
Thanks, KT. "How we used to fall for 'em" was in my transcription; whether you pick my version of the line or Chris's is a matter of personal preference. I prefer Chris's version of most but perhaps not all lines.
Thanks for this. I've been hunting the original words for years.
"Mysteries" were girls freshly arrived in London from the north of England, usually at Kings Cross (where "ponces" and "faces" would lie in wait).
Thanks, Mick!
The 4th lines refers to ‘a notice’ not ‘ a maggis’
Thank you for sharing these wonderful and very-hard-to-find-on-the-internet lyrics!
Very grateful to you.
Thanks for posting the lyrics and for the background info. I too have been watching the documentary on British musicals where I saw the reference to this song.
Miriam Karlin also starred as Golde opposite Topol as Tevye in the West End Fiddler on the Roof.
Does anyone know a good book about that era? There's Absolute Beginners, but the film put me off, haha. I find the pre-60s era intriguing, because it was pre-mass media, and especially TV, coverage, so it's a lot more mysterious...
Maybe less so in the States, I don't know.
KT - You could try "Life in 1950's London" by Mike Hutton.
Thanks for the transcript Jonathan. I think Chris' amendments are good. For info (sorry if everyone knows this already) a brass is a prostitute, dropsies are bribes to policemen, schools are card-schools, (gambling at a baize-covered card table), tools are weapons like coshes and hammers (as in 'tooled-up').
For a great new book about exactly that era, try "Tales from the Colony Room - Soho's Lost Bohemia" by Darren Coffield (Unbound, 2020) mainly about the bar/club that was the centre of all things wild and Bohemian in Soho. Interviews with Frank Norman, Francis Bacon, George Melly and a flock of reprobates, ruffians and drunkards from that time and place. Recommended!!!
Referring to the discussion on 'How we used to pull/fall for them', in my vocal score the word was 'pull'. I believe this makes more sense than 'fall' - we used to pull for the old days not fall for them, you pull for your football team not fall for it (unless you frequent coffe houses!)
Thanks, Jinny, but I think "How we used to pull/fall for them" is an unresolvable problem because we don't know what 'them' refers to. Bear in mind that this is in the past tense: you might pull for the bad old days now, looking back, but you probably didn't back then when they were the present. So I doubt that 'them' is intended to mean the bad old days, whatever else it may mean.
I checked the words again, and in a book about Bart plus elsewhere it's "pull" so I think we can assume that's correct. The first anonymous lyrics transcript here seem to be completely correct also. "Pull for em" is prostitutes sexually pulling punters for pimps would be a best guess? Can't think what else it could be, attracting clients to any gangster run operation like casinos maybe? Seems less likely but all the same principle really.
Btw I came across this reference to your blog (it pops up in lots of Fings lyrics searches as you probably know). Strange they're not on any official site.
https://www.londonreconnections.com/2014/fings-aint-wot-used-tbe/
Hm, I think only Lionel Bart himself could say what the word was supposed to be, and we're more than 20 years too late to ask. I just listened to the recording again, and it could be "pull" or "fall" for all I can tell. I assumed that "fall for them" could mean falling for swindles of some kind, or perhaps falling for prostitutes... But by now it's a matter of personal preference.
I've been meaning to go back and correct the obvious errors in my original post; maybe I'll do it someday soon.
This is a point that none of us following this thread can, it seems, categorically settle on our own. However, I wondered if the Theatre Royal Stratford East maintains an archive and has original scores of the musical that could resolve the matter? To this end, I've sent them a speculative Email today to ask.
Thanks, C'mon Ye Fords!
I'll obviously let everyone on here know how it goes.
Just in case anyone's wondering - I DO know that Wikipedia says that the original musical score is lost. Lionel Bart did though, perform in the 'original cast recording' made at The Garrick in 1960 and maybe that score has survived.
Hi all,
I've had a (lightning quick) reply from Angela Frost, the Box Office Manager at the Theatre Royal Stratford East (TRSE). She has kindly done a bit of digging and writes*:
"Thanks for you email. I have been in touch with the director of the musical (for the TRSE production) and he says its pull. He does say that the alternative could be a vinyl bowdlerisation. I will leave you to make of that what you will."
I think that's as definitive a source as we could hope for.
*Angela kindly agreed that I could post her reply here.
Thanks again, CYF! That would be the director of the relatively recent revival of the show (I found a trailer for it on Youtube), whose opinion is worth hearing, although Lionel Bart he ain't. I wonder what "pull for them" is supposed to mean in this context. Well, I suppose it's not a question of vital importance.
It's not a world changing matter for sure, but fun is good too!
I've read the link that KT provided here (above), which also offers an explanation for the use of 'pull'.
Here's KT's link again: https://www.londonreconnections.com/2014/fings-aint-wot-used-tbe/
There used to be "pullers in", who stood outside shops. They would take people by the elbow and pull them into the shop. Similarly street walkers would accost men on the street and "pull" directly. The Wolfenden Report resulted in the Street Offences Act 1959 which made this illegal. I suspect this morphed into the non-commercial phrase "on the pull",
Post a Comment